Saturday, October 5, 2013

what I built


I sat for a long time
waiting for help in the wreckage
I called out for mothers, fathers, friends
last I called to god

there was no such thing

I sat for a long time
pinned blame where it stuck
I exiled the old worn self
couldn’t stand the sight of a mirror

alone I rebuilt
I took tin and wood
stole nails and glue where it was plentiful
I rebuilt

I was ignorant and untrained
had no knowledge of plans
or architecture
I rebuilt

then there was a self

I sat for a long time
doubting what I had built
I am no builder
why is this thing so strong?

why does it betray me by standing
when it was built as a tent, a covering for the night? 
this is no palace
after all, is there a thing here worth keeping?

But I can’t make it break. 

Sunday, September 1, 2013

ten-year storm

A terrific storm came through
a ten-year storm, the farmers said
they were busy putting the cattle away
the new calves had got loose and were bleating behind the tool shed.

People don’t go out in pickup trucks
in the middle of a ten-year storm
to see the moment the lightning decides, a gathered slingshot
to pinpoint our thousand memories, to erase such dear baggage.

Willy calls Rooster and they hook up the truck
drag the propane tank away in time
the fire crews come and park
and it’s too late for the house so they all watch it burn.

Then the insurance people come
look at the pile of corrugated tin
Wilbur used to sit there every morning eating cheerios and 
needlepointing verses on fabric; he’d frame them as gifts.

Grandpa’s crib still in the attic 
the drywall had split and the cement had split
and the house was in pretty bad repair; just a house
but its gone now, and the land sits wet and undressed.

There are my memories tumbling about 
into the pasture and the ice-skating pond 
past the place where my sister got engaged
No walls left to hold them in. At least they saved the barn.